








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1841 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,958 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1190 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2008 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2337 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1423 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,914 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElFamosoCroate | 57% | 167 |
| #2 | Cham | 56% | 59 |
| #3 | Rectoad | 54% | 132 |
| #4 | Thermobarique | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | ù ùš ø§ù„ù„ø§ù„ | 51% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElFamosoCroate | 52 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | Rectoad | 21 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | ù ùš ø§ù„ù„ø§ù„ | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Cham | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Stanislav Volkov | 6 | 0.0141 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElFamosoCroate | 425 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | ù ùš ø§ù„ù„ø§ù„ | 368 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Cham | 182 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rectoad | 158 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Stanislav Volkov | 78 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blackjakas | +3.01 | 55 | 49 |
| #2 | Stanislav Volkov | +1.60 | 67 | 38 |
| #3 | Cham | +1.35 | 73 | 52 |
| #4 | Rectoad | +0.89 | 54 | 28 |
| #5 | ElFamosoCroate | -0.81 | 36 | 51 |





