










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
97 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 34 | 21% |
| Smokes | 8 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 66 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 56 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $143,287 of utility $309 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stanislav Volkov | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Thermobarique | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Rectoad | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | ElFamosoCroate | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Cham | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Rectoad | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | ElFamosoCroate | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Cham | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | Blackjakas | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | ù ùš ø§ù„ù„ø§ù„ | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElFamosoCroate | 7 | 0.0215 |
| #2 | ù ùš ø§ù„ù„ø§ù„ | 2 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | Blackjakas | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Rectoad | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Thermobarique | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blackjakas | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | ElFamosoCroate | 44 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | ù ùš ø§ù„ù„ø§ù„ | 35 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #4 | Rectoad | 21 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Stanislav Volkov | 10 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stanislav Volkov | +6.05 | 48 | 21 |
| #2 | Cham | +4.94 | 79 | 56 |
| #3 | Blackjakas | +2.82 | 57 | 50 |
| #4 | Rectoad | +2.12 | 52 | 52 |
| #5 | ElFamosoCroate | -0.48 | 50 | 47 |





