








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 299 | 25% |
| Smokes | 265 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 384 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 267 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $365,244 of utility $264 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jB | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Unknown | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | B1gg1 | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | Flo2beer | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Daffy | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | B1gg1 | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | Flo2beer | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Daffy | 43% | 28 |
| #6 | WobRock ✾ | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | B4Lk4Ni | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B4Lk4Ni | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Daffy | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | B1gg1 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | WobRock ✾ | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daffy | 144 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | B4Lk4Ni | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | WobRock ✾ | 53 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #4 | B1gg1 | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Flo2beer | 32 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jB | +2.39 | 65 | 71 |
| #2 | Daffy | +1.13 | 67 | 42 |
| #3 | WobRock ✾ | +1.12 | 59 | 71 |
| #4 | Flo2beer | +1.07 | 63 | 51 |
| #5 | Unknown | +0.07 | 74 | 63 |





