








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 302 | 11% |
| Smokes | 918 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1103 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 366 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $379,354 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | CrystalNochu | 33% | 15 |
| #11 | SexyDoro | 33% | 30 |
| #12 | Dkurza | 30% | 20 |
| #13 | BOBER ._. | 30% | 20 |
| #14 | ♤ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕪♤ | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dkurza | 6 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | Iceman14 | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | SexyDoro | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | 𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚜 | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | harke | 3 | 0.0037 |





