








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2270 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3385 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2239 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1948 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,198,104 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Skipper | 52% | 163 |
| #5 | Paraceratherium | 52% | 133 |
| #6 | Blubberblau | 49% | 241 |
| #7 | Ysaw | 49% | 204 |
| #8 | WombaT | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skipper | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Paraceratherium | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Blubberblau | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Ysaw | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | WombaT | 6 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paraceratherium | 470 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | Skipper | 255 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Blubberblau | 201 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ysaw | 161 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | WombaT | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ysaw | +2.37 | 73 | 52 |
| #2 | Paraceratherium | +0.88 | 61 | 67 |
| #3 | Skipper | +0.61 | 49 | 71 |
| #4 | WombaT | +0.51 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | SchmiedegasseReturns | +0.05 | 37 | 68 |





