








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2773 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2330 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2615 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1472 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,830 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Private | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | SchmiedegasseReturns | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | R_UwU_N | 52% | 133 |
| #4 | Ysaw | 49% | 139 |
| #5 | Blubberblau | 49% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skipper | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | WombaT | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | R_UwU_N | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Blubberblau | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Ysaw | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R_UwU_N | 157 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Skipper | 134 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Blubberblau | 62 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | SchmiedegasseReturns | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ysaw | 28 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ysaw | +2.22 | 73 | 51 |
| #2 | Paraceratherium | +0.33 | 61 | 67 |
| #3 | Skipper | +0.21 | 48 | 71 |
| #4 | WombaT | +0.20 | 63 | 55 |
| #5 | SchmiedegasseReturns | -0.12 | 38 | 63 |





