








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,593 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1269 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3177 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2558 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1589 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $769,261 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Skipper | 50% | 175 |
| #5 | Blubberblau | 49% | 264 |
| #6 | Paraceratherium | 49% | 139 |
| #7 | WombaT | 49% | 74 |
| #8 | R_UwU_N | 49% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skipper | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Paraceratherium | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Blubberblau | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | WombaT | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | R_UwU_N | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R_UwU_N | 517 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Paraceratherium | 479 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | Skipper | 266 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Blubberblau | 234 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | WombaT | 105 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ysaw | +2.71 | 71 | 54 |
| #2 | Skipper | +0.63 | 52 | 74 |
| #3 | Paraceratherium | +0.47 | 61 | 67 |
| #4 | WombaT | +0.30 | 64 | 56 |
| #5 | SchmiedegasseReturns | -0.22 | 37 | 67 |





