








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 892 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Esplay | 22 matches | 1,765 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6165 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6102 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5107 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4419 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,521,640 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 506 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Durac3llbandit.gg | 68% | 92 |
| #2 | Abbe 🐐 | 68% | 107 |
| #3 | Docile | 58% | 396 |
| #4 | TeeVeeoAl | 58% | 173 |
| #5 | Balban and egor | 55% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Docile | 113 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | Hasse | 25 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | Durac3llbandit.gg | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Abbe 🐐 | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | TeeVeeoAl | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Docile | 2628 | 0.32 | 67 min |
| #2 | TeeVeeoAl | 297 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Hasse | 225 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Abbe 🐐 | 221 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Durac3llbandit.gg | 157 | 0.08 | 2 min |





