








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1807 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1455 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1209 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1273 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,048 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pitito rico | 52% | 46 |
| #2 | Hyouka ☆☆☆ | 51% | 78 |
| #3 | CHUCU | 45% | 75 |
| #4 | [ε]Mק*' ☆☆☆ | 45% | 136 |
| #5 | PEPA ☆☆☆ | 36% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [ε]Mק*' ☆☆☆ | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | PEPA ☆☆☆ | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | CHUCU | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Pitito rico | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Hyouka ☆☆☆ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [ε]Mק*' ☆☆☆ | 445 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Hyouka ☆☆☆ | 290 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Pitito rico | 228 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | CHUCU | 162 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | PEPA ☆☆☆ | 129 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyouka ☆☆☆ | +0.83 | 63 | 58 |
| #2 | PEPA ☆☆☆ | +0.70 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | tute<11> | +0.63 | 74 | 51 |
| #4 | CHUCU | -0.49 | 51 | 61 |
| #5 | [ε]Mק*' ☆☆☆ | -0.63 | 52 | 52 |





