








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 793 | 29% |
| Smokes | 762 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 543 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 657 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,179 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pitito rico | 41% | 27 |
| #2 | Hyouka ☆☆☆ | 38% | 24 |
| #3 | tute<11> | 36% | 59 |
| #4 | [ε]Mק*' ☆☆☆ | 35% | 84 |
| #5 | 6AF1TA | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tute<11> | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | [ε]Mק*' ☆☆☆ | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Pitito rico | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | CHUCU | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Hyouka ☆☆☆ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [ε]Mק*' ☆☆☆ | 234 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | tute<11> | 158 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Pitito rico | 141 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hyouka ☆☆☆ | 114 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | 6AF1TA | 57 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PEPA ☆☆☆ | +1.29 | 73 | 58 |
| #2 | Hyouka ☆☆☆ | +0.96 | 60 | 69 |
| #3 | tute<11> | +0.50 | 76 | 48 |
| #4 | CHUCU | -0.67 | 56 | 61 |
| #5 | [ε]Mק*' ☆☆☆ | -1.08 | 54 | 56 |





