








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 346 | 10% |
| Smokes | 719 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1150 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1179 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $139,339 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fritt' | 11 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Theo Yūji | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | ExeK- | 7 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | .promii- | 4 | 0.0169 |
| #5 | MeisterProper | 3 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fritt' | 210 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | ExeK- | 117 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | MeisterProper | 70 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | .promii- | 69 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #5 | Theo Yūji | 42 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .promii- | +2.74 | 86 | 72 |
| #2 | Theo Yūji | +1.41 | 55 | 48 |
| #3 | ExeK- | +0.28 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | Fritt' | +0.05 | 38 | 59 |
| #5 | LH97 | -0.31 | 85 | 45 |





