








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 501 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1584 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 659 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1127 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $521,783 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dipl.-Inf. sowiemarkus ʕ·͡ᴥ | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Cup of tea | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | Lynx | 52% | 124 |
| #4 | flobbi | 49% | 91 |
| #5 | .snipZ2k | 49% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lynx | 52% | 124 |
| #4 | flobbi | 49% | 91 |
| #5 | .snipZ2k | 49% | 100 |
| #6 | L4zy | 47% | 86 |
| #7 | Condose | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | .snipZ2k | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | flobbi | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Condose | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | 515 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | .snipZ2k | 177 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | L4zy | 140 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | flobbi | 83 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cup of tea | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | +4.62 | 70 | 81 |
| #2 | Dipl.-Inf. sowiemarkus ʕ·͡ᴥ | +1.17 | 58 | 54 |
| #3 | Toxsi | +0.07 | 61 | 53 |
| #4 | Condose | -1.46 | 73 | 52 |
| #5 | flobbi | -1.77 | 52 | 56 |





