








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 743 | 17% |
| Smokes | 666 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1293 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1565 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $402,945 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dipl.-Inf. sowiemarkus ʕ·͡ᴥ | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | Lynx | 51% | 87 |
| #3 | Condose | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Toxsi | 49% | 91 |
| #5 | L4zy | 47% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | L4zy | 47% | 121 |
| #6 | .snipZ2k | 47% | 88 |
| #7 | Cup of tea | 45% | 42 |
| #8 | ziu | 41% | 17 |
| #9 | Ursus Primus ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | .snipZ2k | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Cup of tea | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | L4zy | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Toxsi | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | 400 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | L4zy | 179 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | .snipZ2k | 164 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Cup of tea | 75 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | ziu | 68 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | +5.33 | 72 | 81 |
| #2 | Toxsi | +0.55 | 63 | 54 |
| #3 | Dipl.-Inf. sowiemarkus ʕ·͡ᴥ | +0.24 | 49 | 61 |
| #4 | ziu | +0.17 | 46 | 68 |
| #5 | Condose | -0.83 | 58 | 65 |





