








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1649 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1277 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2218 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2374 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $985,124 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cup of tea | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | Dipl.-Inf. sowiemarkus ʕ·͡ᴥ | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | Lynx | 50% | 132 |
| #4 | Toxsi | 49% | 100 |
| #5 | Condose | 49% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | flobbi | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Condose | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Toxsi | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Cup of tea | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | 577 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #2 | L4zy | 233 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Condose | 173 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | flobbi | 86 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cup of tea | 74 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | +5.52 | 68 | 80 |
| #2 | Toxsi | +0.38 | 61 | 55 |
| #3 | Condose | -0.57 | 66 | 55 |
| #4 | Dipl.-Inf. sowiemarkus ʕ·͡ᴥ | -1.15 | 42 | 44 |
| #5 | .snipZ2k | -1.38 | 50 | 57 |





