








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1219 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2074 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1595 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1405 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,090,920 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | r1ntsi | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | jammala | 54% | 91 |
| #4 | Syötiin+Hymyiltiin | 52% | 162 |
| #5 | robson | 50% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Syötiin+Hymyiltiin | 19 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | sampan märkä päiväuni | 10 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | robson | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | jammala | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | PowerChicken | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Syötiin+Hymyiltiin | 692 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | jammala | 462 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #3 | robson | 265 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | sampan märkä päiväuni | 133 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Herd | 114 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +3.28 | 89 | 55 |
| #2 | smpa | +2.89 | 83 | 45 |
| #3 | LuGia | +2.04 | 64 | 61 |
| #4 | Pele | +1.51 | 77 | 48 |
| #5 | Syötiin+Hymyiltiin | +1.18 | 75 | 63 |





