










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 497 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7093 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7844 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6074 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7157 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,674,816 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Wh1te - Jek0 | 42% | 172 |
| #7 | n00k`lear | 41% | 236 |
| #8 | RvonA | 40% | 151 |
| #9 | JK γ | 34% | 32 |
| #10 | Wodden | 30% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β¨Bα΄MBα΄Mβ¨ | 27 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | aDDy | 17 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Wh1te - Jek0 | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | RvonA | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | n00k`lear | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aDDy | 1265 | 0.15 | 34 min |
| #2 | β¨Bα΄MBα΄Mβ¨ | 704 | 0.06 | 19 min |
| #3 | Wh1te - Jek0 | 598 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #4 | n00k`lear | 442 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | RvonA | 415 | 0.13 | 11 min |





