










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 928 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 583 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10158 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9434 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9962 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6338 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,836,029 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 879 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | RvonA | 45% | 92 |
| #6 | ♨BᴀMBᴀM♨ | 44% | 544 |
| #7 | JK ツ | 43% | 46 |
| #8 | ♡𝒦𝒾𝓂♡ | 43% | 382 |
| #9 | Wodden | 42% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♨BᴀMBᴀM♨ | 23 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | n00k`lear | 13 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ♡𝒦𝒾𝓂♡ | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Wh1te - Jek0 | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | 乃ムℬムเʞɐ | 4 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡𝒦𝒾𝓂♡ | 943 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #2 | Wh1te - Jek0 | 834 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #3 | n00k`lear | 729 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #4 | ♨BᴀMBᴀM♨ | 700 | 0.06 | 19 min |
| #5 | RvonA | 270 | 0.13 | 7 min |





