








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 176 matches | ||
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,419 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2337 | 32% |
| Smokes | 900 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2404 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1778 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,409 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | metal | 53% | 148 |
| #2 | Bowl | 46% | 24 |
| #3 | <3 | 43% | 70 |
| #4 | clark | 38% | 42 |
| #5 | VQueer | 35% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | metal | 53% | 148 |
| #2 | Bowl | 46% | 24 |
| #3 | <3 | 43% | 70 |
| #4 | clark | 38% | 42 |
| #5 | VQueer | 35% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | metal | 29 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | <3 | 15 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | VQueer | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | clark | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Bowl | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | metal | 209 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | VQueer | 58 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | <3 | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | clark | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | metal | +5.12 | 73 | 42 |
| #2 | <3 | +1.65 | 66 | 20 |
| #3 | Bowl | -0.26 | 44 | 13 |
| #4 | notgray | -0.57 | 47 | 42 |
| #5 | clark | -5.25 | 10 | 10 |





