








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 64 | 35% |
| Smokes | 45 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 36 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 37 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $61,538 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 303 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notgray | 38% | 42 |
| #2 | metal | 35% | 34 |
| #3 | Bowl | 30% | 10 |
| #4 | <3 | 22% | 9 |
| #5 | VQueer | 21% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notgray | 38% | 42 |
| #2 | metal | 35% | 34 |
| #3 | Bowl | 30% | 10 |
| #4 | <3 | 22% | 9 |
| #5 | VQueer | 21% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | metal | 15 | 0.0212 |
| #2 | notgray | 13 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | VQueer | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | <3 | 3 | 0.0180 |
| #5 | Bowl | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notgray | 102 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | metal | 81 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | VQueer | 20 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | <3 | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | metal | +5.74 | 75 | 46 |
| #2 | <3 | +0.52 | 47 | 23 |
| #3 | Bowl | -0.06 | 42 | 13 |
| #4 | notgray | -0.21 | 45 | 40 |
| #5 | VQueer | -4.74 | 7 | 11 |





