








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 514 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1723 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1352 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1135 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,159 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alf Schumacher | 38 | 0.0269 |
| #2 | Kuro | 21 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Nikl | 15 | 0.0337 |
| #4 | Nikl | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Pingwin | 4 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pingwin | 117 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Nikl | 82 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kuro | 73 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Alf Schumacher | 56 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nikl | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuro | +1.94 | 57 | 41 |
| #2 | Nikl | +0.67 | 52 | 50 |
| #3 | Pingwin | +0.47 | 71 | 55 |
| #4 | bóbr | +0.22 | 38 | 42 |
| #5 | Nikl | -0.23 | 55 | 53 |





