








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1314 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2673 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1417 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 923 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $823,009 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bóbr | 20 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | Kuro | 17 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Alf Schumacher | 13 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Nikl | 9 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | Pingwin | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pingwin | 365 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Nikl | 130 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kuro | 82 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | bóbr | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Thedenator | 40 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuro | +1.44 | 48 | 39 |
| #2 | Nikl | +1.27 | 61 | 62 |
| #3 | Pingwin | +0.40 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | Nikl | +0.19 | 44 | 48 |
| #5 | bóbr | -0.64 | 39 | 43 |





