








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 678 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,765 | |
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2143 | 35% |
| Smokes | 781 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1706 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1488 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,225 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 375 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoppeJr | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | str0ofe | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Axticy ζ | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | ✪This Is Odd | 48% | 66 |
| #5 | sLETTEMOENsjIO- | 48% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLETTEMOENsjIO- | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | JoppeJr | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | str0ofe | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLETTEMOENsjIO- | 172 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | ✪This Is Odd | 79 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | jesgul | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | JoppeJr | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | str0ofe | 20 | 0.08 | 0 min |





