








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1739 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Esplay | 191 matches | 2,177 | |
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3088 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3671 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4351 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5246 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,716,586 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wiliboij | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | wizard | 60% | 48 |
| #3 | Calceus | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | ✪This Is Odd | 54% | 96 |
| #5 | kamilla | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Calceus | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | ✪This Is Odd | 54% | 96 |
| #5 | kamilla | 48% | 44 |
| #6 | Icro [",] | 45% | 42 |
| #7 | sLETTEMOENsjIO- | 39% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Icro [",] | 10 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | Calceus | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | sLETTEMOENsjIO- | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Wiliboij | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | wizard | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Calceus | 174 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | sLETTEMOENsjIO- | 112 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | wizard | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪This Is Odd | 90 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Icro [",] | 83 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jesgul | +1.87 | 78 | 59 |
| #2 | wizard | +1.13 | 94 | 45 |
| #3 | Calceus | +0.75 | 78 | 52 |
| #4 | Icro [",] | +0.33 | 75 | 46 |
| #5 | sLETTEMOENsjIO- | -1.78 | 59 | 71 |





