








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 267 | 15% |
| Smokes | 572 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 450 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 460 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $341,520 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baclava cat | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | stew. | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | n100 | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | 𝗦𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵.exe | 44% | 54 |
| #5 | OhnePimmel | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baclava cat | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | stew. | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | n100 | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | 𝗦𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵.exe | 44% | 54 |
| #5 | OhnePimmel | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n100 | 5 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | 𝗦𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵.exe | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | stew. | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | OhnePimmel | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | baclava cat | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝗦𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵.exe | 65 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | OhnePimmel | 62 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | stew. | 59 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | baclava cat | 31 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | n100 | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stew. | +6.06 | 53 | 41 |
| #2 | 𝗦𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵.exe | +5.64 | 53 | 37 |
| #3 | baclava cat | +1.68 | 34 | 54 |
| #4 | n100 | +1.62 | 72 | 38 |
| #5 | コーディ | -2.40 | 21 | 28 |





