








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1045 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




188 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 67,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16739 | 25% |
| Smokes | 17543 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 15919 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 17222 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,031,600 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1530 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brother Beans | 59% | 140 |
| #2 | KID 山本 | 56% | 101 |
| #3 | virgin | 54% | 96 |
| #4 | broglennn | 53% | 345 |
| #5 | Lezly Mackerel | 51% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | broglennn | 53% | 345 |
| #5 | Lezly Mackerel | 51% | 183 |
| #6 | Apex Hong | 48% | 255 |
| #7 | Mash | 46% | 149 |
| #8 | contiki | 38% | 451 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | contiki | 144 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | Apex Hong | 17 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Lezly Mackerel | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Mash | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | virgin | 10 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apex Hong | 1187 | 0.22 | 30 min |
| #2 | contiki | 1161 | 0.13 | 24 min |
| #3 | broglennn | 814 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #4 | Lezly Mackerel | 442 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | Brother Beans | 318 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | virgin | +2.14 | 63 | 53 |
| #2 | KayyKayy | +1.21 | 42 | 67 |
| #3 | Mash | +1.13 | 35 | 53 |
| #4 | Brother Beans | +0.47 | 60 | 58 |
| #5 | broglennn | +0.30 | 50 | 57 |





