








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 88 | 31% |
| Smokes | 83 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 85 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 27 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,523 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kare | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Lo | 43% | 30 |
| #3 | Rod wave | 43% | 28 |
| #4 | Duckey990 | 27% | 11 |
| #5 | Bloodhound Lil Scoom89 | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lo | 43% | 30 |
| #3 | Rod wave | 43% | 28 |
| #4 | Duckey990 | 27% | 11 |
| #5 | Bloodhound Lil Scoom89 | 0% | 2 |
| #6 | sir king buttplug | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rod wave | 14 | 0.0329 |
| #2 | Duckey990 | 4 | 0.0351 |
| #3 | Lo | 3 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rod wave | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Lo | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kare | 3 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rod wave | +5.45 | 53 | 42 |
| #2 | sir king buttplug | +4.90 | 76 | 15 |
| #3 | Bloodhound Lil Scoom89 | +1.26 | 11 | 3 |
| #4 | Lo | +0.92 | 22 | 28 |
| #5 | Kare | +0.60 | 22 | 15 |





