








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 38 | 25% |
| Smokes | 43 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 27 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 42 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $12,639 of utility $4 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rod wave | 49% | 141 |
| #2 | Bloodhound Lil Scoom89 | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | Lo | 48% | 115 |
| #4 | sir king buttplug | 38% | 21 |
| #5 | Hoopa | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rod wave | 49% | 141 |
| #2 | Bloodhound Lil Scoom89 | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | Lo | 48% | 115 |
| #4 | sir king buttplug | 38% | 21 |
| #5 | Hoopa | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rod wave | 54 | 0.0213 |
| #2 | Lo | 12 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Hoopa | 7 | 0.0824 |
| #4 | sir king buttplug | 5 | 0.0143 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rod wave | 214 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lo | 80 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hoopa | 7 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | Bloodhound Lil Scoom89 | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | sir king buttplug | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rod wave | +4.97 | 50 | 38 |
| #2 | sir king buttplug | +3.19 | 41 | 10 |
| #3 | Lo | +1.17 | 19 | 34 |
| #4 | Bloodhound Lil Scoom89 | +0.36 | 30 | 8 |
| #5 | Duckey990 | -3.60 | 10 | 2 |





