








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 104 | 6% |
| Smokes | 903 | 52% |
| HE Grenades | 488 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 250 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $116,689 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✵Hexious✵ | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Myce | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | KataKata | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | NestY | 37% | 49 |
| #5 | Cookie-Kun | 36% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Cookie-Kun | 36% | 44 |
| #6 | DavaiPaskraidom | 32% | 25 |
| #7 | Wolf | 25% | 20 |
| #8 | MoN | 17% | 24 |
| #9 | Captain Dijango | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✵Hexious✵ | 4 | 0.0280 |
| #2 | DavaiPaskraidom | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | NestY | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | MoN | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Cookie-Kun | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie-Kun | 134 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | MoN | 89 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | DavaiPaskraidom | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Wolf | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✵Hexious✵ | 19 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✵Hexious✵ | +2.60 | 55 | 64 |
| #2 | Cookie-Kun | +2.43 | 59 | 66 |
| #3 | KataKata | +1.67 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | NestY | +1.54 | 91 | 9 |
| #5 | Myce | +1.36 | 86 | 28 |





