








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1007 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 376 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8073 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8233 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5180 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7068 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2244 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,862,883 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 475 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | MoN | 47% | 150 |
| #9 | Wolf | 46% | 164 |
| #10 | 拉里·貝爾 | 44% | 72 |
| #11 | devis | 36% | 44 |
| #12 | Captain Dijango | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DavaiPaskraidom | 70 | 0.0145 |
| #2 | KataKata | 31 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | ✵Hexious✵ | 18 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Wolf | 17 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | MoN | 16 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DavaiPaskraidom | 791 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | MoN | 566 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | KataKata | 374 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #4 | ✵Hexious✵ | 354 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Myce | 214 | 0.09 | 4 min |





