








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1110 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3163 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2320 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3038 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,941,856 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saeschh_ | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | -Flashback- | 6 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | NN.CLUTCHER.CPP | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | ✴ʝυʅιʝα☾😈 | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Prototyp1988 | 2 | 0.0039 |





