








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 340 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2635 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2415 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3112 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3021 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,383,678 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 470 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrazyMo | 50% | 36 |
| #2 | Noodles | 45% | 66 |
| #3 | PlüschMonster | 45% | 58 |
| #4 | Prototyp1988 | 44% | 141 |
| #5 | elya | 40% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Call me Heisenberg! | 437 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Noodles | 193 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Decoy | 162 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | sk1ndwolF | 143 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Prototyp1988 | 123 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noodles | +4.35 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | Call me Heisenberg! | +2.94 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | Prototyp1988 | +1.53 | 75 | 35 |
| #4 | ✴ʝυʅιʝα☾😈 | +0.82 | 64 | 47 |
| #5 | sk1ndwolF | +0.74 | 61 | 59 |





