








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 91 | 22% |
| Smokes | 181 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 100 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 48 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $47,457 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charlemagne | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | booflol ! | 35% | 20 |
| #3 | Moojaroo | 33% | 18 |
| #4 | Brolair | 33% | 27 |
| #5 | CorkIM | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | booflol ! | 35% | 20 |
| #3 | Moojaroo | 33% | 18 |
| #4 | Brolair | 33% | 27 |
| #5 | CorkIM | 29% | 7 |
| #6 | mojito | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brolair | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Moojaroo | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | booflol ! | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brolair | 113 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Charlemagne | 59 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #3 | booflol ! | 55 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Moojaroo | 54 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | mojito | 5 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charlemagne | +7.19 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | booflol ! | +2.70 | 63 | 35 |
| #3 | CorkIM | +0.67 | 37 | 30 |
| #4 | Brolair | -0.78 | 58 | 59 |
| #5 | th3keyboard | -2.45 | 46 | 27 |





