








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2165 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2753 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1219 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1236 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,652,271 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charlemagne | 64% | 53 |
| #2 | Sm1tch | 58% | 208 |
| #3 | mojito | 55% | 132 |
| #4 | CorkIM | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Moojaroo | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sm1tch | 58% | 208 |
| #3 | mojito | 55% | 132 |
| #4 | CorkIM | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Moojaroo | 52% | 48 |
| #6 | Brolair | 50% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brolair | 37 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Sm1tch | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | mojito | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Moojaroo | 8 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | CorkIM | 5 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brolair | 639 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | Charlemagne | 277 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | Moojaroo | 238 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #4 | mojito | 142 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sm1tch | 136 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Charlemagne | +5.15 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | booflol ! | +2.38 | 74 | 40 |
| #3 | Sm1tch | -0.06 | 52 | 29 |
| #4 | Brolair | -0.40 | 56 | 56 |
| #5 | mojito | -1.24 | 44 | 30 |





