








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 366 matches | ||
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6108 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4994 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3221 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4687 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,375,806 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1027 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noahhh | 53% | 95 |
| #2 | Frylock | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | Jordanfall | 49% | 294 |
| #4 | SlayNugget | 48% | 119 |
| #5 | RREALETH | 47% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Frylock | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | Jordanfall | 49% | 294 |
| #4 | SlayNugget | 48% | 119 |
| #5 | RREALETH | 47% | 68 |
| #6 | Kingston | 46% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordanfall | 76 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | noahhh | 14 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | SlayNugget | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Kingston | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | RREALETH | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordanfall | 541 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | SlayNugget | 431 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | Kingston | 407 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | noahhh | 211 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Frylock | 80 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sdc | +1.70 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | noahhh | +1.36 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | Frylock | +0.48 | 56 | 66 |
| #4 | SlayNugget | +0.08 | 62 | 62 |
| #5 | Jordanfall | -0.61 | 50 | 49 |





