








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 692 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 528 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4796 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7435 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4166 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5533 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,949,206 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 451 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Называй меня папо | 60% | 67 |
| #2 | noahhh | 50% | 185 |
| #3 | RREALETH | 47% | 190 |
| #4 | SlayNugget | 47% | 221 |
| #5 | jark walk em down | 47% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordanfall | 126 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | noahhh | 32 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | jark walk em down | 27 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | RREALETH | 18 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | SlayNugget | 17 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlayNugget | 718 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | sdc | 653 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | Jordanfall | 622 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | noahhh | 429 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Называй меня папо | 236 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Называй меня папо | +3.05 | 68 | 61 |
| #2 | noahhh | +1.36 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | sdc | +1.34 | 81 | 64 |
| #4 | SlayNugget | +1.10 | 64 | 60 |
| #5 | Jordanfall | +0.19 | 54 | 47 |





