








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2686 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1339 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2566 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2210 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,556 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KneeGas | 56% | 84 |
| #5 | kidfisto | 54% | 117 |
| #6 | Make a Wish Kid | 50% | 105 |
| #7 | jonrazz_ | 48% | 103 |
| #8 | Eriksen96 | 46% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonrazz_ | 287 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | KneeGas | 285 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | kidfisto | 220 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Make a Wish Kid | 209 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Eriksen96 | 209 | 0.10 | 4 min |





