








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 771 | 30% |
| Smokes | 625 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 565 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 567 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,684 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | --ReLaX-- | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Brett.io | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | 5ch0lli | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | SlaynThemAll | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | ok)))))))))))))))) | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ok)))))))))))))))) | 67% | 6 |
| #6 | mrmj | 60% | 5 |
| #7 | Kebab | 59% | 17 |
| #8 | robito | 50% | 8 |
| #9 | illusN | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brett.io | 1 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | ok)))))))))))))))) | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kebab | 83 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | 5ch0lli | 50 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Brett.io | 29 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | robito | 27 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | mrmj | 18 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kebab | +2.05 | 81 | 75 |
| #2 | robito | +1.89 | 89 | 46 |
| #3 | S3cReT *LFT* | +1.86 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | ok)))))))))))))))) | +1.32 | 89 | 59 |
| #5 | --ReLaX-- | +0.71 | 74 | 56 |





