








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 157 | 24% |
| Smokes | 208 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 106 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 179 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $114,102 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glitoris | 32% | 28 |
| #2 | Glenis | 28% | 39 |
| #3 | Glicky | 27% | 15 |
| #4 | Gloc | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Glerectile Glysfuction | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glenis | 12 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | Glitoris | 9 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | Glerectile Glysfuction | 8 | 0.0195 |
| #4 | Glallsack | 6 | 0.0174 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glenis | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Glitoris | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Glallsack | 41 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Glerectile Glysfuction | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gloc | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glitoris | +4.36 | 55 | 30 |
| #2 | Glenis | +1.18 | 55 | 24 |
| #3 | Glerectile Glysfuction | +0.28 | 39 | 28 |
| #4 | Glallsack | -0.64 | 34 | 44 |
| #5 | Gloc | -1.45 | 17 | 59 |





