








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1429 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4132 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 2662 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1211 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $797,605 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glicky | 50% | 56 |
| #2 | Glerectile Glysfuction | 50% | 185 |
| #3 | Glenis | 49% | 310 |
| #4 | Glallsack | 45% | 110 |
| #5 | Gloc | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glallsack | 292 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Glenis | 284 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | Glerectile Glysfuction | 265 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Gloc | 39 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Glooby | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glitoris | +3.84 | 61 | 41 |
| #2 | Glenis | +0.87 | 58 | 29 |
| #3 | Glallsack | -0.61 | 34 | 43 |
| #4 | Glerectile Glysfuction | -1.64 | 29 | 34 |
| #5 | Gloc | -2.42 | 29 | 33 |





