








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 825 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,079 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1988 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5762 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 2598 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2731 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,848 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mgwska | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | mr. ree | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | Kaya Poopsock | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | MajKowaTy | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | im am otherfuck er | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turkish Enupiss | 23 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | zen player | 18 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Tiny Nut | 18 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Foczka | 16 | 0.0172 |
| #5 | HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA | 14 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zen player | 1187 | 0.30 | 24 min |
| #2 | Tiny Nut | 577 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA | 535 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | MajKowaTy | 177 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | im am otherfuck er | 172 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr pepper good | +5.09 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | Tiny Nut | +4.86 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | MajKowaTy | +4.85 | 67 | 72 |
| #4 | Mgwska | +2.01 | 44 | 72 |
| #5 | Turkish Enupiss | +0.36 | 38 | 49 |





