








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 808 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2668 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3123 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1706 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2344 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,418,425 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 719 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waffer | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | ☯เทพเต้ย ⛟ ✈ | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | im am otherfuck er | 50% | 160 |
| #4 | hereo | 48% | 50 |
| #5 | cao bang boar | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Earthman | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | im am otherfuck er | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | cao bang boar | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | ☯เทพเต้ย ⛟ ✈ | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | hereo | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | im am otherfuck er | 711 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #2 | Earthman | 181 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | waffer | 130 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | ☯เทพเต้ย ⛟ ✈ | 123 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | cao bang boar | 113 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waffer | +4.33 | 93 | 54 |
| #2 | dr pepper good | +3.91 | 86 | 61 |
| #3 | cao bang boar | +3.19 | 86 | 45 |
| #4 | hereo | -0.04 | 47 | 41 |
| #5 | im am otherfuck er | -0.74 | 68 | 58 |





