








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 484 | 16% |
| Smokes | 773 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 903 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 903 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,706 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nose Spray 👃👈 | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Stoned ☁ | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | St8ks | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | greenballz92 | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | iwnl_cope | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deku | 12 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | ces3lg | 8 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | sfw | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Shaggy | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Dslyexia | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deku | 246 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | sfw | 123 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | ces3lg | 63 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Shaggy | 20 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sambonguru | 20 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iwnl_cope | +7.48 | 93 | 68 |
| #2 | Stoned ☁ | +4.17 | 66 | 51 |
| #3 | Nose Spray 👃👈 | +2.93 | 87 | 53 |
| #4 | sfw | +2.58 | 63 | 58 |
| #5 | Sambonguru | +2.48 | 72 | 43 |





