








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 758 | 30% |
| Smokes | 655 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 484 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 650 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,756 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vollhorst76 | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | TryX | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | nik | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Cyrit | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Käfer ツ | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrit | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | TryX | 2 | 0.0175 |
| #3 | Käfer ツ | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | roberto | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Käfer ツ | 135 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #2 | Danny | 66 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | nik | 60 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Cyrit | 43 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | roberto | 31 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danny | +1.56 | 88 | 62 |
| #2 | Cyrit | +1.34 | 95 | 56 |
| #3 | Vollhorst76 | +1.13 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | roberto | +0.98 | 85 | 61 |
| #5 | ✪Axis | +0.87 | 81 | 67 |





