








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 369 | 37% |
| Smokes | 245 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 219 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 175 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $173,481 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YILDIRIM | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | sîckkA | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Noname | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Ferd Blue | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Käfer ツ | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sîckkA | 3 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Noname | 3 | 0.0349 |
| #3 | Ferd Blue | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Käfer ツ | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Axis | 41 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | nik | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Danny | 32 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Käfer ツ | 26 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | sîckkA | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YILDIRIM | +5.67 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | Noname | +3.14 | 85 | 64 |
| #3 | sîckkA | +1.48 | 80 | 64 |
| #4 | roberto | +1.33 | 88 | 69 |
| #5 | Danny | +1.08 | 88 | 46 |





