








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 240 | 33% |
| Smokes | 179 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 138 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 179 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $49,197 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrit | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | TryX | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | ✪Axis | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Käfer ツ | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | roberto | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪Axis | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Käfer ツ | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | roberto | 33% | 9 |
| #6 | Danny | 33% | 9 |
| #7 | Snupi Lft | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Axis | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | roberto | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Käfer ツ | 1 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | TryX | 1 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Axis | 62 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #2 | Danny | 32 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | roberto | 31 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Käfer ツ | 26 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | TryX | 6 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyrit | +2.36 | 98 | 40 |
| #2 | Danny | +1.08 | 88 | 46 |
| #3 | roberto | +0.98 | 85 | 61 |
| #4 | nik | +0.88 | 89 | 64 |
| #5 | ✪Axis | +0.79 | 76 | 67 |





