








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 925 | 27% |
| Smokes | 859 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1034 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 611 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $718,123 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Tøffluz | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Sloba ♔♔♔ | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | ♡ icy | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | RayZee | 53% | 79 |
| #5 | Torque me harder Daddy! | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sloba ♔♔♔ | +2.57 | 52 | 62 |
| #2 | Lord Tøffluz | +2.49 | 63 | 67 |
| #3 | running | +1.08 | 72 | 68 |
| #4 | Torque me harder Daddy! | +0.81 | 47 | 59 |
| #5 | h4zel0 | -0.40 | 57 | 56 |





