








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3007 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2219 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2441 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1857 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,035,003 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juppa | 50% | 218 |
| #2 | Misanthrop | 49% | 176 |
| #3 | $YNC☆♥ | 46% | 68 |
| #4 | TeeKay | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juppa | 50% | 218 |
| #2 | Misanthrop | 49% | 176 |
| #3 | $YNC☆♥ | 46% | 68 |
| #4 | TeeKay | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juppa | 22 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Misanthrop | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | $YNC☆♥ | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juppa | 578 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | $YNC☆♥ | 138 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Misanthrop | 127 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | TeeKay | 75 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $YNC☆♥ | +2.67 | 89 | 49 |
| #2 | jnx$hKe | +1.38 | 77 | 70 |
| #3 | Juppa | +0.61 | 68 | 66 |
| #4 | TeeKay | -1.13 | 51 | 66 |
| #5 | Misanthrop | -2.65 | 55 | 37 |





