








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3110 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2483 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2071 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1999 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $141,545 of utility $24 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aeonyツ | 47% | 115 |
| #2 | 3lectr0o | 46% | 80 |
| #3 | Juppa | 46% | 85 |
| #4 | jnx$hKe | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | $YNC☆♥ | 45% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Juppa | 46% | 85 |
| #4 | jnx$hKe | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | $YNC☆♥ | 45% | 97 |
| #6 | SAAAANIIC!! | 44% | 59 |
| #7 | Misanthrop | 44% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aeonyツ | 17 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Juppa | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | 3lectr0o | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Misanthrop | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | $YNC☆♥ | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aeonyツ | 451 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | 3lectr0o | 308 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | $YNC☆♥ | 213 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Juppa | 189 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | jnx$hKe | 143 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3lectr0o | +3.74 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | $YNC☆♥ | +2.19 | 86 | 59 |
| #3 | jnx$hKe | +1.04 | 83 | 74 |
| #4 | Juppa | +0.10 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | SAAAANIIC!! | -0.45 | 76 | 58 |





