








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 395 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1151 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1408 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2623 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1355 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $937,879 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .toXic :^) | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | jnx$hKe | 49% | 176 |
| #3 | $YNC☆♥ | 47% | 154 |
| #4 | Juppa | 46% | 303 |
| #5 | TeeKay | 44% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .toXic :^) | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | jnx$hKe | 49% | 176 |
| #3 | $YNC☆♥ | 47% | 154 |
| #4 | Juppa | 46% | 303 |
| #5 | TeeKay | 44% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juppa | 25 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | $YNC☆♥ | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | jnx$hKe | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | TeeKay | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jnx$hKe | 825 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #2 | Juppa | 741 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #3 | $YNC☆♥ | 380 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | TeeKay | 189 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | .toXic :^) | 103 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .toXic :^) | +4.71 | 94 | 73 |
| #2 | $YNC☆♥ | +2.32 | 89 | 54 |
| #3 | jnx$hKe | +1.58 | 78 | 71 |
| #4 | Juppa | +0.74 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | TeeKay | -1.56 | 48 | 67 |





