








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 706 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8554 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6609 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5998 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7018 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,280,825 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoM CS.MONEY | 65% | 96 |
| #2 | founding chief | 60% | 55 |
| #3 | fame | 58% | 205 |
| #4 | -Webby- | 55% | 78 |
| #5 | stonk | 55% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fame | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | founding chief | 12 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | -Webby- | 10 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Super | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Stank | 6 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super | 645 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | fame | 603 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | Stank | 603 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #4 | stonk | 433 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #5 | NoM CS.MONEY | 359 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoM CS.MONEY | +5.46 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | fame | +3.53 | 86 | 71 |
| #3 | founding chief | +2.01 | 85 | 52 |
| #4 | Super | +1.11 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | GeorgeOcean | +0.70 | 71 | 63 |





